
It’s hard to believe half of this trip is over (or, indeed, more than half over if I’m being pedantic, and allowing for the fact Melbourne is nine hours ahead of Britain: in exactly two weeks I’ll be readying for my Monday trivia night in South Yarra). It’s been a great trip to date — a few things I’ve missed doing, a couple of intended catch-ups that didn’t happen, and the bout of illness in London (replete with unwanted subsequent side-effects from antibiotics) wasn’t welcome; but overall it’s been precisely the tonic I needed, and have needed, for more than a little while. I actually feel relaxed, and I can’t remember the last time I could honestly say that.
It was put to me by a mate of mine that this trip sounded “full on;” perhaps it is, but I didn’t book the type of holiday on which one generally lounges by the pool with a pina colada in hand. No, as much as I needed a break, this was about doing things, too: I love long drives (tick), I’ve been exploring places outside London I (mostly) haven’t been before (tick), I’ve caught up with some people I wanted to see and will catch up with a couple more toward the end of the trip (tick), I’m accruing “goodie bags” for my kids (tick), I’ve bought some nice new clothes, and will acquire some more from the tweed merchants in Glasgow (tick)…and I may or may not yet get the tattoo in Glasgow I have been flirting with:
The bird that never flew.
The tree that never grew.
The bell that never rang.
The fish that never swam.
I also bought a very nice top hat from Christys of London before I came over here — a proper, fur-trimmed formal British dress hat — and had it delivered to me in Melbourne: while it’s nominally an acquisition from this trip, I couldn’t be bothered trying to get it home safely in the overhead locker of a B777 (or arguing the toss with flight attendants for having a second cabin item either, for that matter), so add that to the score too.
So is the trip “full on?” It’s a matter of perspective, I suppose, although there has also been plenty of down time for walking, thinking, sleeping, and plotting and scheming a few things for my return to Australia: strategic plans to cover the next few years — not the first few weeks I’m back.
What I haven’t done is any work on my novel; perhaps, in keeping this travelogue, my writing time could be seen to have been otherwise utilised. But once again, the information I have uncovered on this trip is percolating away in my mind, arranging itself into the correct order for me to simply sit down and type it out when I’m ready, so I can’t say I’ve made zero progress on that front either: and in any case, there will be plenty of scope for me to do so once I’m home.
Today has been both satisfying and frustrating: I did what most travellers do and found a laundromat, and laundered my dirty clothes; fortunately today was the only time I’ll have to do it. I bought two weeks’ worth of clothes with me this time to minimise the disruption.
But in a twist, this wasn’t the stereotypical dingy shop in a high street where you sit around for two hours waiting for the wash and dry cycles to run their course; this was something I’ve not seen before — a Revolution Launderette — in the car park of the Morrisons supermarket in Skipton, about nine miles from Grassington. I regret not taking a picture of it, but the one I’ve nicked from Motorway Services Online is a faithful replica.

That irritating task completed, I took the 42-mile drive from Skipton to Thirsk, to the World Of James Herriot museum…and found, infuriatingly enough, that not only was it closed but a local told me it hadn’t been open “for most of the day” (despite being advertised as open from 9.30am until 5pm). An 84-mile (135km) round trip isn’t just a colossal waste of time, but when paying 172p per litre for fuel, it’s an expensive lot of nothing, too. And I’m going to have to find the stuff my daughter wanted from All Creatures Great and Small somewhere else, for she doesn’t deserve to be let down by someone skiving off and taking an early afternoon off.

So today is my last day in England — at least until Thursday week, when I fly back into Heathrow for my two nights in an airport hotel before the big jump back to Melbourne.
Tomorrow, I’m driving back to the M6 Motorway, and heading north to Scotland; rather than simply zoom directly to Glasgow, I’m taking a route that hugs the south-west Scottish coast to Ayr, then cutting across to the old town. Apparently some people refer to this route, from the border to Ayr, as the “Scottish Great Ocean Road” — we’ll see. I’m staying in a delightful little seaside village called Portpatrick, and look forward to sharing some pics once I land for the night and get settled.
So tomorrow — in a sense — this Scot is going home. It’s a huge proportion of the rationale for taking the trip in the first place. Ten nights in Scotland out of a total of 26 in Britain underlines the importance to me of this portion of my visit to the UK, and there are some wonderful places — and in all likelihood, stories — lying in wait over the course of that time.





